How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
