Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
