Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
