Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
