Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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