On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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