My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Someone shattered a urinal.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
