she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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