3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Randomize