yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
