I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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