i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
