writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
