I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
