It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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