why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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