Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
