Me too!
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
