He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
