Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
