why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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