So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
