At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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