even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
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