The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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