he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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