Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I want her autograph on my taint
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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