i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
My pussy is not your playground.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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