I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
