I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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