just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
