He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
