why do cheetos always look like penises
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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