Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize
