i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
What drink are we having for lunch?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
