Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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