sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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