you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
