I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
