K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
