I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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