Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
