I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
