omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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