so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
