what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Randomize
