thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
