I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
