THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
