How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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