so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
BRING THE BAGELS
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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